M*A*S*H 4077

The greatest show in television is....

Keith and I usually end our day relaxing in the bedroom with an episode of M*A*S*H. The Tivo records five episodes each weekday, and I feel special when Tivo finds a few more as suggestions. I have seen every episode, and I've found I can categorize them all based on character appearances.

First, there are the Trapper episodes. Any number of offenses were committed against Frank Burns by the duo of Trapper John and Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce. When Trapper left, B.J. then came to Korea for the duration. B.J. was the family man, yet even he was not immune to the charms of a woman--remember the artist who fell for him? She was played by the actress who was in Love Story with Ryan O'Neal. My mind isn't kicking in tonight or I'd tell you her name. She was also on McMillan and Wife with Rock Hudson.

Speaking of Frank, he is the character you just love to hate. He is childish, whiny, a cheat, and the most overblown stereotype for Christians and patriots (hypocrite for both). His love for Margaret dimmed only when he thought of money or his wife. There are the Frank episodes, and then there are the post-Frank episodes. After Frank disappeared to Tokyo for a mental breakdown ("Private Charles Lamb" episode, I believe), Charles Emerson Winchester, III, had to grow on me, but he did. Such a pompous elitist.

Another category of episodes are the Henry Blake episodes followed by the Colonel Sherman Potter episodes. Henry was such a lovable Lothario. He did his best to make life in war as normal as it could be for himself and those under his command. I still tear up when I watch the episode where he is killed in a helicopter crash, ironically as he is returning home from the war. The actors on set did not know that Henry Blake was going to die in the crash until Radar ran into the operating room in the final scene. Those gasps and cries must be real.

Colonel Potter came to town sounding like a hard nose in his first episode, but he quickly turned into the father figure for all under his charge. He was a voice of experience and temperance. Definitely a peacemaker. (As a side note, I'm sure Dave Ramsey would approve of Col. Potter's wife's ingenuity in saving back some egg money and paying off their home mortgage early!)

The only major loss (even Henry's death pales with this one) is when Radar goes home. For you trivia buffs, Gary Burgoff (sp?) as Radar is the only actor who played his character in both the big screen M*A*S*H movie and the TV series. The show really is never the same after Radar/Gary leaves. Klinger becomes normal, or at least he goes from wearing dresses to dressing like regular army. One of my favorite episodes featuring Radar is when he decides to take a correspondence writing course. I don't remember all of the instructors, but they all had famous last names, such as Hemingway (Ethel!). In that episode Radar goes around trying to improve his writing by adding florid descriptions to the Army reports. And remember the episode where he was a shoe salesman? Or the one where he wanted to get a tattoo? Radar was always looking for a way to be more of a man or to improve himself. His most obvious gift was his "radar," but he was just unusually observant.

I could go on and on about my love for the characters of M*A*S*H, but I'll wrap this up and save some for another day.